Monday, February 28, 2011

So we made it through week 1 of post op!

Well today marks seven days since my baby's surgery. Oh and for those that don't know me, my baby is nearly three and the size of a four and half year old kid. But if you are a parent, you understand that no matter how old your child is, he/she will always be your baby. Correction: if you are a parent who gives a damn, that is.



I knew something was not right with my baby since he was about three months old. Even the devil had to admit that a three month old baby should not snore as loud as a 40 year old man. But the pediatrician kept saying he's too young, he's too young. This went on for two years. Finally, three strep throat infections in about eight months later, a doctor (who is now is primary doctor), referred us to the ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor). Sure enough, my baby's adenoids and tonsils were enlarged. Enlarged adenoids and tonsils does not necessary mean that they must be removed. Many children have them enlarged. However, the ENT suspected that the enlargement might be causing obstructive sleep apnea. It was evident in the way he breathed while he was awake. He always sounded out of breath or like he had run three miles. The obstructive sleep apnea was confirmed through a sleep study. Obstructive sleep apnea causes the person to lose oxygen (or stop breathing) for a period of time when they are sleeping because in his case, the adenoid and tonsils were causing the air passage to be blocked. Most pediatrician become concern if a patient's oxygen level drops lower than 95%. So if you or your child ever had a doctor stick that little thing on your fingers to measure your oxygen level, then you know what I'm talking about. If you or your child have asthma, then you definitely know what I'm talking about. Well my baby's oxygen level while sleeping went as low as 81% which is very dangerous. Needless to say, surgery was scheduled.



So despite the "I hate you and you don't deserve for him to even carry your last name" side of me, I emailed the devil in December to let him know about the upcoming surgery. No response. Not even a "what for" or a "is he ok", nada, zippo, zilch. Yes it hurts but life goes on. I had not received a response from him about anything since May so I've grown accustomed to this. I emailed him once again with the new date after my baby's surgery was rescheduled. I even emailed him pictures the day of the surgery of our son right after surgery. Again, nothing! That was a week ago and I still haven't received a response. For all he knows, our son could have perished. I never did tell him what the surgery was for.



Oh and before you question if he even received my emails or pictures...my parents went to his country after docking there with a cruiseline. They met him at his job (yes he has a job but has failed to send his son any money since the day he left which was June 17, 2009) and he told them that he reads every update I send and looks at every picture as well...but apparently I'm not worth a "thank you" or a simple "got it". So you see, I'm pretty sure he knew about the surgery.



Oh and before you say "well maybe he doesn't care", to you I say "uhm yeah I know", but its still very hard to grasp how someone did care so much to the point where they would argue with my mom about how that is his son and no one is going to take him away from him. This is the same devil that when my son and I dropped him off at the airport the day he left, cried and said I love you even though we weren't together. This is the same devil that spent every free minute at my house from the moment my son was born to the day he left. Oh and this is the devil that was in the delivery room watching his son being born and was the first person to hold him. Yet this is the same devil that won't even check to see how his son is doing after a surgery.



But anyway, did the surgery help? Heck yea! I now check to see if he's breathing because he's so quiet. He no longer breathes like he is out of breath. But don't get me wrong, it hasn't been a great week either. The pain is unbearable; he ended up back in the ER the day after he was discharged with a fever and dehydration. But as each day passes by, he does a little better and no longer needing the pain medication as scheduled but rather as needed. As for mommy, I'm finally getting some kind of sleep. And although, I'm working from home for two weeks so I can stay home with him, its actually been like a mini vacation. Despite all the work it takes to care of a recovering child, the hardest part for me, was seeing him being put to sleep. It was like they took his breath and were holding his lifeless body. I hope I never have to see that again.



As for the devil, I have to believe that when he lays down every night, his conscience doesn't let him sleep. Because no matter how far he is, he can't runaway from the truth and the truth is he still has a son in the US! And now, his mommy is going to make some noise!

Hello!

Hi everyone and thank you for stopping by. First I wanted to point out that this blog is not about how awful or evil my baby is (I realize the title might throw you off). This blog is about the joys and hardships of taking care of a child who spent the first year of his life along with his mom (that's me) and dad aka "the devil" as he will be referred to on this blog and then have the devil simply disappear to another country. I'll tell you all about my adventures with the state on getting help, the illnesses, the everyday "how am I going to pay for that" dilemmas, and how at the end of the day, I feel blessed and wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

I hope you enjoy my blog and I apologize in advance if I offend or hurt someone's feelings; I tend to just write what I feel. But I do promise to post a new entry at least once a week.