I thank God everyday for my healthy, active, three year old son. I mean, just last year I couldn't say the same. He was always sick and in the hospital. And frankly, I prefer this boy over that fragile child of mine...BUT what in the world happened to him when he turned three....
Any chance he gets, he tries to defy me. I have literally told him the flying object is a helicopter but he fights me and says its a plane when it is clearly a helicopter. The trantrums are more extensive and now he's hitting and biting. I am afraid of picking him up at school everyday...not sure what complaint I will get that day.
So when I finally realized (through tears) that I had enough of this "who's in charge" war with my three year old, I broke down and emailed his pediatrician. "Is there something wrong with him? Is there something wrong with me? I'm going to have a nervous breakdown", I told her. And in three short paragraphs, she completely changed my life.
Paragraph one was one sentence.....Disciplining children at three can be very challenging.....was all it said...WTF does that mean I asked myself....then the next paragraph were book suggestions...and the last paragraph was how I was bound to find something from those books to help.
Of course I felt better knowing I wasn't alone! However, I didn't see how this would help..I mean he clearly was beyond teaching...Nevertheless, I sucked it up and order the three books she suggested online. They arrived on Friday....I managed to finish one by Saturday morning....(this is how desparate I am)...when we visited my cousin and my son smacked me in my face....I just knew I had to do something..especially when everyone comments. Funny everyone has an opinion on disclipining and I felt like a horrible mother because its not like I haven't tried those things. I nearly was short of beating him..but I don't believe in beatings....spankings...yes but not beating out of anger....We left shortly after this and headed home.
Home I went and finished the second book....it was time to change my ways.....I was quickly learning from these books that my frustration and the way I was dealing with him was only in a negative way. I was only paying attention to him when he was doing something wrong (which seems like all the time)...So when Sunday came and he was sitting there playing all by himself, I got down on the floor and grabbed a motorcycle and played with him. I said out loud everything he was doing and he just seemed so excited.
Of course, things won't change overnight so when he started getting a tantrum, I simply gave him an option. At first, he was startled that mommy wasn't raising her voice. I was too....and no matter how loud HE got, I refused to let it get to me....When he started crying because he wanted something, I told him. You have an option, You can either stop and watch the movie or you can keep crying and I will turn it off. He quickly stopped and then I thanked him for listening and for watching the movie...and that was it! A BREAKTHROUGH.....I can't tell you how many times I had to give him options but eventually it stuck long enough for him to realize that this is the way it was going to be.....now I'm getting ready to pick him up and am hoping that he was not hitting or biting....
